Look, the Pie!
Ancient proverb for defusing tense family situations (via shakeitallout)

zacwells:

Scooby Doo is the most useless member of the scooby doo team why is the show named after him, the show should be called Velma

donatellavevo:

current mood: oprah running on hot coals

image

helloheart-bumblingmess:

What a lovely winter we’re having this spring.

Kid:  Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
Cashier:  Are you 18?
Kid:  It's okay, they're a metaphor.

In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

Andrew Garfield visits kids dressed as Spider-Man at Kids’ City, London (April 8, 2014)

thetomska:

Andrew Garfield arrested for attempting to kidnap kids dressed as Spider-Man at Kids’ City, London (April 8, 2014)

dropeverythingnowforme:

THIS FUCKING KID

t.